


The More Things Change...

by HMK



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Gen, IPRE/BOB, Magcretia - Freeform, Magcretia Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 10:50:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12910374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMK/pseuds/HMK
Summary: ...the more things stay the same.Lucretia reflects on the difference between her past and present and what that means for her now.





	The More Things Change...

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, here's my first official piece for Magcretia week. I'd say it's going to be my last because I have school papers to write but you know, that's what I said about doing anything at all for this week and then this piece just clocked me upside the head. 
> 
> A bit slapdash, but enjoy!
> 
> Prompt: IPRE/BoB

“I don’t care, _I’m_ not the one that fucked things up, Lup. She’s the one that fucking killed the Lucretia we all knew when she erased the rest of us.” Taako hisses at Lup as she brings up reconciliation for the umpteenth time this month. Lup’s hand flies over Taako’s mouth, as though she can shove the words back into his mouth when she catches sight of Lucretia’s white hair disappearing around a corner. She casts Taako a despairing look and shakes her head as she flits off to chase Lucretia’s heels, desperate to hold her life together. 

To her surprise, Lucretia isn’t running or giving any indication that she’d heard Taako’s words. Lup rushes to catch up to Lucretia’s pace, throwing an arm around Lucretia’s shoulders that seem at once stronger and smaller than before and Lucretia throws a mild smile her way. Nothing like the blooming rose of a smile that they were occasionally gifted with on the Starblaster, but it warms Lup’s heart all the same. 

“It’s okay, Lup.” She says and Lup’s warm heart sinks; she’d heard after all. Lucretia chuckles at the look on Lup’s face and lifts her hand to cover Lup’s. “No, really. Taako’s not completely wrong. I’m not the same as I used to be, I don’t think, and neither is everyone else. But there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”

Lup searches Lucretia’s face for unhappiness before replying. There’s a hint of melancholy around the corner of her eyes, but Lup thinks that might just be present in everyone these days. More importantly, Lucretia looks content. Lup sighs and drops her arm from Lucretia’s shoulder to link their elbows, and they continue walking down the hall. “No”, She tells Lucretia. “No, I suppose there isn’t, dear.”

* * *

There’s a strange dichotomy between the Bureau and the members of the IPRE after the events of Story and Song, as the people down on Faerun had taken to calling it. The member of the Bureau, seemingly, had always known that there was something different about her. They just hadn’t know she was an actual alien. But after the memory had been broadcast to their minds, her hundred and something-year journey settling into their perception of her, well. Sure, it had taken a day or so for everything to adjust. But after that, it was apparently, business as usual. She was still Madame Director, just with the addition of an interesting past, but nothing had really changed. She was still the Director.

But with the original members of the Starblaster…well. That was a different story entirely. They were all aware that things were different and that it was her fault-and she can’t change it and she wouldn’t change it even if she could-but for many of them, it’s still like putting on an ill-fitting jacket. Who they were, who they are, who they will be…it all dances round and around, making their heads dizzy and leaving them the worse for wear when they remember that their memories still aren’t what they should be. Aren’t what they _should_ have been.

Sometimes Magnus reaches up to a black eye that isn’t there; Merle looks at his hand like it’s a stranger, still. Barry falls into silence around her sometimes, and she feels a deep despair and rage emanating from him towards her, even though they’ve talked through their differences now. Sometimes, Taako will off-handedly ask her to grab him something if they happen to be in the same kitchen, before he remembers that he hates her and stalks out of the room.

It is easier for Davenport, she thinks, and harder at the same time. Now that he has the words and the memories to give context to what he’s seen and experienced over the last decade, the memories organize themselves into his mind neatly. He’d still lived the mission after all, albeit in a different role. But he’s more quiet these days, and she’s caused him to lose faith in his own interpretation of the world and she thinks there’s no salvation for that. 

Lup suffers the most, she thinks. Gone into the umbrella for ten years and then returned to a world that was supposed to stay the same, but had moved on and changed without her. Still trying to understand where the bonds had broken and holding the broken pieces in her hand, trying to knot them back together.

Yes, they’ve all changed and most of it because of her. She’s not their Lucretia anymore, and she isn’t their Director, and she no longer knows where she stands. 

* * *

So much had changed, she muses, walking down to the quad where she can already see Magnus waiting for her. He looks good in brown and dark red, different from the bright crimson of the IPRE jackets and robes that she’d saved all these years. Different, but good. She wonders if she can say that about herself. He’d gotten older than when she’d left him on the stoop of a carpenter’s house in a little town called Raven’s Roost and a part of her aches; she wishes she could have grown old with him. With everyone. Those days together seem like another person ago, another lifetime ago.

She’s not his Lucy anymore. He won’t pick her up by the waist and leave her in random tree branches anymore because she’s not giving him enough attention; he won’t throw her over his shoulders and force her to hold on for dear life as he charges up and down random hills and valleys, leaving her laughing helplessly from above. She can’t just slip across the hall and into his room when she has a nightmare; he won’t just drop a kiss at the nape of her neck just because he can. There are no more dark corners that they can have a quick, desperate and joyous moment in just because they can and they’re alive. Those days…those days are over now. She’ll never be his Lucy again. 

But so are the days where she’d had to keep him at arm’s length, afraid to let him touch her for fear that she’d break down and beg for forgiveness to a man who wouldn’t understand. Gone are the days where she’d desperately be watching from the observation deck, fisting her robes in her hands so that no one would notice the depths of her despair and concern as they ran headlong into and gone are the times where she’d had to curb her joy at their safe return. The days of hiding her feelings and her love and her hopes and dreams and despair are over now. She’s not the Director to him anymore, either.

“Lucretia!” Magnus moves away from the glass ball against which he’d been leaning as he catches sight of her, waving cheerfully. She can’t help the smile that slides across her face, nor the quickening of her steps as she hurries to be in his company that much sooner. He’s smiling too, and he reaches for her hand to help her into the glass ball. Not that she needs it but some things just don’t change. That thought makes her smile grow wider as she settles into the seat and Magnus chuckles as he clambers in next to her. “Gee, you’re really excited to go see Angus at the University, aren’t you?” 

She smiles and agrees, because of course she’s glad to go see Angus. The door to the glass ball slides shut overhead and she slides her hand into his. As naturally as breathing, his fingers interlace with hers and when he looks down, he chuckles. He doesn’t say anything as he looks back up as the ball launches, but he doesn’t pull away. She’s not his Lucy anymore, but neither is she the Director. She’s just Lucretia now, and she’s terrified and excited to see what that means for them now. He squeezes her hand and she exhales a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and squeezes back.

So much has changed, yes, but some things always stay the same. 


End file.
